Thursday, July 15, 2010

INSIDER REPORT #3: The Worst Ad Ever?

THURSDAY JULY 15, 2010, 11:23 AM

Dear Early to Riser,

It just may have been the worst marketing copy EVER.

Vague. Bland. And boring!

Hey, I love my friends over at Delray Beach's running store, the local hangout for folks training for everything from 5Ks to marathons.

But when I showed their recent advertisement to the audience at our Five Days in July conference yesterday, I think the verdict was unanimous: A HORROR!

The good news is that it's easy to turn bad copy into excellent copy by following just a few guidelines... and that's just what I provided during my Wednesday morning presentation - including some ideas for "fixing" that awful ad.

Hi, Charlie Byrne here, writing from Miami Beach's Turnberry Isle Resort as your ETR Insider Reporter.

Things are heating up at the conference down here as attendees are already making remarkable progress on their new websites (I'll try to give you some sneak peeks tomorrow).

They're getting personal, hands-on mentoring from our world-class team including Bret Holmes, Brian York and Mike Ward from Agora, Inc; marketing experts Joshua Boswell and Brian Edmondson; not to mention ETR's own Laura Rodini and Jason Holland.

For nearly two hours yesterday morning, I shared with them a wealth of copywriting techniques - the same techniques that have been largely responsible for bringing in an average of $295 million a year for the last five years for Agora, Inc.

I like to mix in "real life" examples of both good and bad copy that I notice from time-to-time - and that's where the Running Store advertisement came in.

I'd gotten their email announcement and the "offending copy" instantly jumped out at me:

"Special Event 5PM This Sunday -
Expert Speakers on Various Subjects Related to Running"


Good copy is all about specifics and details. It's about showing, not telling.

But this ad was nothing but a vague summary. And as Michael Masterson says "In copy, summarization is DEATH."

Here's why: When you talk or write in generalizations and vagueness, it usually means either A) You're too lazy to research and/or provide the actual facts and details; or B) You don't actually know what the facts are and you're faking it, hoping no one will notice.

Either way, your reader is left wondering why the heck he should believe ANYTHING you've got to say.

"Expert speakers"? Like who?

"Various subjects"? Like what?

And, oh, by the way, what's in it for me? Where's the benefit? Why should I even show up?

I doubt if anyone would change their plans to attend something so nondescript as this "special event."

I showed our Five Days in July audience how that ad might have been improved. See if you don't think this is a bit stronger:

Coming This Sunday June 7th,
Power Up Your Running to the Next Level!

  • Four-Time Boston Marathon winner John Smith explains how to cut 15 minutes off your fall marathon time...

  • Palm Beach Orthopedics Institute Director Mary Jones gives you 4 secrets to avoiding training injuries and getting in the best shape of your life in the next 6 weeks...

  • Nike Shoes Director of Advanced Technology Jim Jackson previews their breakthrough new X-743 running shoe (on sale for 25% off Sunday only)!

Now that's a little better than "Expert Speakers on Various Subjects Related to Running", don't you agree?

That event now sounds like something I'd show up for. And I bet a lot of other runners would too.

The Running Store example was just one illustration I gave of how to dramatically improve your copy.

In all, yesterday, I detailed 15 powerful copywriting fundamentals. And while I can't share them all here, I can give you a flavor of the moneymaking goodies you missed out on...

  • How to structure every piece of copy to lead your customer from initial interest to intense desire to got to have it now - while pulling out their wallet...

  • Why the BIG IDEA is far more critical to your success than anything else you'll ever have to say...

  • Why you must win over your customers' hearts first before winning over their minds - but understanding that both are necessary...

Being able to write good copy (or know how to recognize it) may be the single most important skill needed to catapult your online business to success.

And some of the techniques are remarkably simple - you really just need to know what they are.

In fact, I'm not bragging but I am completely confident saying that if you simply watch my presentation, you'll know more about copywriting than 99.9% of all the entrepreneurs out there.

And bottom line, that means more money in your pocket when you use these techniques in your business - existing or new.

Of course, I covered much more than I have time to tell you about here. This only represents a few minutes from hours and hours of powerful information and advice attendees have received the past few days.

But I'll gladly continue to fill you in on the "inside scoop" from ETR's Five Days in July conference over the coming days.

My goal this week is to show you at home how YOU too could start your own "Perfect Home Business" in a simple step-by-step fashion - just like the attendees are doing here in person.

We're recording all of the presentations and producing a set of professional DVDs that will cover the entire conference.

Why not order the DVDs and get started on YOUR own business? It's easier than you think and there's a completely zero-risk offer.

Check it out and if it's not right for you, you get every penny back. That's a no brainer so don't put it off, just click here to get going.

PLUS we've got a special discount going on right now. But hurry if you want in on it. The special offer is only going to last during the conference this week. After that the price goes up.

Click here for all the details on starting your own Perfect Home Business.

I'll be back tomorrow, when I hope to have convinced some of our attendees to show you the websites they've built in just the past two days... and also share with you some of the powerful business-building lessons they've learned at this truly remarkable event.


Charlie Byrne, Your ETR Insider Reporter

PS: To help attendees at the "Five Days In July" event get off to a great start with their copy, I also showed them:

  • Six attention-grabbing introductions ("leads") to get your potential customers reading...

  • Eight critical elements that must be present when you ask the customer to hand over their hard-earned cash...

  • How to deepen benefits, back up your claims, establish credibility, and emotionally engage your reader on every level...

  • And much MUCH more.

You can see my full presentation - and all the others from this conference - with the DVDs we're recording "around the clock."

Get these DVDs and you'll be able to SEE, FOLLOW, and DO what the experts and attendees are doing here... right now... but you can do it in the comfort of your own home.

And at a fraction of the price of attending the conference in person.

Click here for all the details on starting your own Perfect Home Business.

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  1. I just got a check for over $500.

    Sometimes people don't believe me when I tell them about how much you can earn filling out paid surveys online...

    So I show them a video of myself getting paid $500 for filling paid surveys.